I thought this summer, it was going to be different and fun than last year. But I was wrong. It is a productive one, but other than that, it isn’t. It’s not different from last year. Problems are reoccurring (to me) and that sucks. And I miss my friends.
I was browsing through my dashboard and read Ate Piya’s post, agreeing to what she said about doctors thinking that examination is the best tool for learning. Yes, I am sick of having examinations every single day. What I hate the most is that, some doctors don’t give a precise lecture on a topic and then when they give tests, it is freaking hard! Also, I hate it when they expect you to know everything. I sometimes think why I chose this path— entering med school. It makes you depressed, sad and have a low self-esteem. I admit that there are times when I thought of quitting and doubting myself everytime I see my grades/scores posted on our bulletin board. I am not used to have low scores and grades because I didn’t have any problem before when I was still an undergraduate but now, /sobs. It is really really hard. But I don’t know.. I still have a very looooong way to go.
It feels like it’s already Thursday because of the sleepless nights we had these past days. It also feels like it’s already the finals week when in fact it’s still next week. We had 2 pre-semestral exams this week and 2 practicals (1 still pending) and 1 long exam on Friday plus 1 journal reporting for Thursday. Amidst of these exams and requirements, I am really really really looking forward to our sembreak next week. Please come already!
I hate to admit this but I really have study problems now. It’s just that the material or the subject I’m reviewing is not interesting to me. It bores me to deaaaaaath -__- What to do?? Actually, I don’t know. How do I survive this shit? I do not know. I cannot wait for sembreak to come. 3 weeks more to go!
I don’t know what’s happening to me in these past days. I am not being myself and definitely was out of focus. I tend to think irrational thoughts always and being paranoid, too.
The month of September is really emotionally and mentally draining. Two weeks from now, it’s already October and the first semester is already ending. I don’t know if I should be excited because of our sembreak or I should be nervous because of my grades. I don’t know what to feel huhuhu :(((( I don’t know what to do.. I.. just.. don’t :|