I don’t know what’s happening to me in these past days. I am not being myself and definitely was out of focus. I tend to think irrational thoughts always and being paranoid, too.
The month of September is really emotionally and mentally draining. Two weeks from now, it’s already October and the first semester is already ending. I don’t know if I should be excited because of our sembreak or I should be nervous because of my grades. I don’t know what to feel huhuhu :(((( I don’t know what to do.. I.. just.. don’t :|
Tawa ako nang tawa kanina nung sinabi yan ng friend ko. Actually, he’s right. The best feeling in the world is when you are already “legal” to wear your own stethoscope around your neck in the hospital. Of course, to be able to achieve that, you must first suffer for 3 years in med school, 2 years of internship and should pass the board exam before freely doing it. Super sarap sa feeling ‘non. Super layo pa nang lalakbayin ko bago ko makamit ang pangarap na yan.
Natawa ako dito. All for one, one for all lang and drama? :))
Some of my school supplies from Saizen and of course National Bookstore. Leggo, hectic hell week in the coming days!
I am still jobless and hopeless. Some of my batchmates are now job hunting, some are already training as a teacher, some are still a lazy bum like me. This summer has been fast even if you don’t do anything productive, the day just passed by like nothing happened and oh, I wonder why.. Frankly speaking, I’m not in the right mind to work. I still can’t picture myself working in a company or whatever job there is I find. The thing is, I still want to study. Heck, studying is so much better than working. I say, cherish your time in school because you have no idea how hard it is to look for a job. It’s not a one snap submit-an-application and stuff. It will take months and months before you ever land one.
A lot are asking me where will I study this June (it’s for med school). To be honest, I still don’t have one. I don’t know what school I am going to! I am beyond confused and irritated with what’s happening this past few weeks. Gusto ko nang i-bash mga ulo ng mga tao dito para matauhan. Errr. I remember my interview last monday in this school I applied for. Apparently, the owner of the school ‘interviewed’ me and I was nervous as hell. While waiting, I was breathing in and out and it worked in calming my nerves! Would you look at that! Laughing aside, he kept on repeating the question of if I really want to be a doctor throughout the whole interview. Kulang na lang sabihan ko na, “paulit-ulit lang po?” haha. If I wasn’t briefed enough on how hell it is in med school, I will quickly change my mind in pursuing it because the interviewer did a good job in telling me how med school can eat up your weekends and etc. (like I have a ‘social life’. I don’t even go out @__@). Well anyways, my ego got boosted a little bit in the ‘interview’. In your face lang ang peg ko ‘non! Hah!
So I’m still waiting for the results of the interview.. no news yet (like it will have, tcch). Oh, give me credit in the changes of the mood in this entry… irritation turned into sarcasm, like now. My mood, as I am typing this entry is beyond pissed, angered, wanting to cry.. so yeah. Emotions can have a multiple emotion (personality) disorder.